Thursday, Nov. 20, 2003 - 7:23 p.m.
Hi Everybody!
I had some pictures to put up - I mean literally just had them in my hand and now I can't find them. Nuts!
Last weekend I finished up my therapeutic touch courses (it was held in a nunnery and I got to stay overnight!!!!I loved it!!!). That's right, I am now a therapeutic touch (or TT as we like to call it) practitioner. If you don't know what it is and are curious, drop me a line or look it up online. I would be more than happy to talk about it though. I need the practice. Speaking of practice, I am currently trying to find other people in Petawawa who have taken the course (I know they exist, I just don't know who they are) so I can get a practice group going. In the near future I would like to offer these services to the base community as it would be very helpful in these stressful times. Who knows, maybe one day I can open my own practice! Wouldn't it be great to own a lodge and have healing retreat weekends. Ah, only in my dreams. Instead I am opting for a university education. Damn the man.
Speaking of university...
As some of you know, I have been interested in joining the community council since the summer. Unfortunately no spaces have opened up as of yet, but I am on the waiting list. I did, however attend a meeting last week and found myself more sure about pursuing this as a career path. I would love to tell you all about the meeting, but it is long and would only bore you, so I will go on. During my courses on the weekend I met a lady by the name of Kate who was also attending. She has just finished a run for mayor of Petawawa (which she lost) and continues to be a councilor in the town of Renfrew. She is also a healthy living advisor with a retreat cottage on her beautiful lakefront property. I was so intrigued by the fact that she was a politician as well as a spiritualist that I had to befriend her. She was full of fantastic stories and wise advise. When we partnered up to practice TT we made a fantastic connection. She used some imagery(in her head only) during her treatment on me, and when I described what I had been receiving in my mind they coincided. Again it was centred around the subject of politics and spirituality. So, university.
Today I received an information package from Carleton on a Public Affairs and Policy Management degree (and could specialize in international affairs [because I'm on a mission to save the world]). I have looked it over several times and it gets me feeling kind of excited. I am going to talk to an admissions councelor next week, so I will keep you updated.
Ottawa has a program in International Affairs and Modern Languages. I will be speaking to them as well.
I am hestitant about all of this though. This will mean that I have to leave Pet, leave Rich and move to another city for 4-5 years. I don't like that at all. To be honest it scares me. I will leave it at that.
Rich has decided to buy a house. This, of course, is an "efficient" decision. I'm making fun of him, but it really is a good decision. He figures we pay rent here, and I will be paying a second rent at university, and in the end we will be getting nothing out of it. He is quite sure that he will be working in Pet for the next 4 years, so buying a house and renting out a room or two makes good sense. I like the idea of having a "home" to come home to.
As far as things with Rich go, everybody is VERY busy over there. Now is the time when the men are going home on leave, and that means extra work for those who are still there. He says he has been working a lot of late nights. It is so hard on this end to want to support him when the distance makes it impossible. You know, when your mate is having a rough week you do things like making sure the house it neat(er than usual), making sure supper is ready, dealing with your own issues on your own so you can be there for the other, giving space and generally setting up a calming atmosphere. I can do none of those things from here. I can't even give him a hug. All I have are words of reassurance that have been said over and over for the past four months. It is frustrating. Wow, I don't usually talk about that do I?
Yesturday I went to a little get together hosted by the Colonel's wife. This for me was a milestone because an invitation to this gathering meant that I have been recognized in the circle of 2CER wives. You have to understand that military life has unique issues and needs. The circle of wives is your support group. There are often women who are officers wives and somehow feel this gives them an air of aristocracy - but not this group, and from what I hear, not generally engineers wives. In this group you can get together and beyond the usual playing games, going for dinner etc there is a support system through chatting about life as a mother, wife and career woman while the men are gone. They share stories, ideas, and laughter. I hadn't laughed as much as I did last night since Rich left. For me it was an honour to be recognized as a member of the group because I am young, I am new and I am not a wife. It made me feel grown up, and once again, part of a community. That word is so important in an army life.
As a side to that I have to say that raising two infant-toddlers all day, then coming home to the dog, really makes me feel left out of adulthood. I have been battling with feeling mature lately.
Well, that certainly was an onslaught of thoughts. I think this has been a more personal entry that any of the others. I have revealed more honest feeling. I think it comes from a weekend of meditation and healing - and the ongoing progress of continuing to heal.
Be good to yourself, and listen to that quiet voice inside. I wish happiness for all of you, and it is easily achieved by being healthy, making sure you have quiet time for yourself and identifying and dealing with your stresses in a productive way. You can't do that if you ignore the things that bother you. Headaches, backaches, shoulder aches, chest pains, colds....all of these things can come from keeping your stress all locked up. Emotion is not just a state of feeling. It takes up a very real and very concrete residence in your body. Know it's there and know where it comes from and already you will start to alleviate whatever ails you. If you take 20 minutes of quiet time for yourself each day you will find that you are better able to cope with difficulties without the anxiety.
Really.
P.S. I have made a survey of rhetorical questions for you to think about when your feeling a little low. I came across these questions during my weekend at the nunnery. To get there, click on the diaryland link at the top of this page, that will take you to the diaryland homepage. Choose to browse the members, then choose the new search feature. Type in my name and voila - you have found my profile! The link for my survey is on that page.
